You never know what someone is going through

Have you ever thought about the person you pass on the street? Or the person you're behind in line at the store? Are they smiling? Do they look like they're having a good day? Are there tears stained on their cheeks? Everyone's going through some kind of battle, whether they show it or not. 

Maybe it's the situation that I'm going through with my husband right now, but I try to think about the other person and what they're going through before I react to any kind of situation. I would want someone to extend me the same courtesy. I've been a little more of a hermit than usual lately. Just so much going on with getting ready to have the baby (possibly any day now), taking care of two little boys already, taking care of a husband who was diagnosed with a brain tumor, waiting for doctors to get on the ball and call us with a plan, not to mention the holidays are here. My family is trying to come visit for the holidays and the baby but they aren't setting any dates because honestly, we don't have any official dates. Both of my boys have just come whenever they've felt like it... neither of them waited til their due date. So while we could wait til the due date to set a plan, more than likely it be thrown up in the air by whatever this little one decides. I'm just overwhelmed and exhausted. I know it must be showing to anyone I pass. I may not smile as much as I used to, although I try. I may space out more than normal. I may not seem as friendly, it's not anything personal. It's just what is going through my mind lately. 

The point of this post is to think more of the person you're interacting with, and realize that there may be more to their life than you know. To anyone I come across in the next few weeks, please be patient with me. I'm the same person and try to be as friendly as before, I'm just dealing with a lot.

Just remember, it's the tumor talking...

It's been awhile since I've posted. I've come back here a few times and typed out long entries updating everything, but then I usually delete them. To be honest, there hasn't been much of an update. We're still playing the wait and see game. The MRIs from Japan are almost to his neurosurgeon's office and then we'll hear what the plan is. The meds are taking a toll on him. His neurologist explained the side effects of his medication when he prescribed them. He said there's a 1% chance of his attitude being affected. He could become volatile, easily angered, just different. It could be the medication, or it could be the tumor. My husband had joked about how with just our luck, he'd be the 1%. The neurologist said he's honestly only seen it happen to one patient. Well, with our luck, he is the 1%. The medications have changed him.

The man I married was such a happy guy. He would make friends with anyone and joke about anything. He'd never get angry, and his fuse was SOOO long. He hated confrontation and would just ignore a situation if he knew it would lead to a confrontation. The medications have changed all of it. His fuse is practically non existent. Going out in public and dealing with crowds has become a chore. It is almost as if he has lost his filter. Whatever comes to his mind, he will say.. nice or not. I feel like I have to apologize to strangers sometimes. He will just laugh it off and say, "it's my tumor talking.." but they don't know that. That's probably been the hardest part.

In other news, 5 weeks from today (at the latest) we will be welcoming our 3rd little man into this world. My c section has been scheduled! Everyone believes he will be here before then, but I'm determined to hold him in as long as possible. With everything going on in our lives right now, I need something to stay on schedule. So many uncertainties right now, I am counting on my little guy to be the one I can count on to just stay put until necessary.  If you pray, please send some our way...